Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
New Pictures
A few weeks ago when we were in St. George for one of Cole's basketball games we decided we had better get the girls updated pictures. Cole went with the basketball team and I would have been solo had it not been for my sister Jill saving me. The girls did so good! The first 6 shots! Perfect girls, what can I say? These are the cut and paste from the web site, so they're not the best, but you get the gist.
"White Trash" Sledding
Today after Brynlee got home from school, she wanted to build a snow man. We got them all dressed up and they had a blast. The snow wouldn't pack for a snowman, so we did some white trash sledding. Cole really wants to get into biking, so we went all out for Christmas and got us some bikes and a trailor for the girls. We hooked the sled up behind the bike and went sledding. Yes, official "white trash"!
Monday, December 1, 2008
How very bothersome.
As I sit here reading various blogs from close friends and family, to my new found Williams buddies across the country I have never met, I become very disturbed. I realize very quickly how self-centered and shallow I really am. All these amazing mothers who are home for their children at all times I am amazed and inspired by. I have always worked. When Brynlee was born, I took 10 days off work and went back full time. Cole was going to school, so I worked to pay for his education. When Haivyn was born I took 6 weeks off then worked part time for 6 months and back to full-time.
Would I rather be home with my girls? Without a doubt! So why do I work you ask? Because we are selfish. I don't want to go back to the poor house! If I want to buy a pair of shoes, I love the liberty of knowing I can. I love the fact that Brynlee is the cutest girl at preschool, not to mention the best dressed. I love having a cute house, and not having to keep a checkbook. But at what sacrifice? Brynlee is 4.5, delayed, and full of special needs, yet how many times have we ever worked with her? Zero! No speech, no fine motor, no gross motor, nothing. It's sad that the most she gets is 8-10 hours a day of disney and sprout. She should learn something from that, right? All I can say is Thank You to amazing preschool teachers, because we all know it wasn't learned at home!
This is something that has been bothering me for quite some time, and I feel like it drags me into a constant state of depression. I have come to despise my job for the precious things it robs me of. But even more than that, it bothers me that I am not eagerly sacrificing the shackles which got me here in the first place. I will always have to work just to pay the basic bills. It's one of the perks of having an educator for a husband. Who really cares about the new trailor, truck, brand of clothes, etc? Me and only me! In the eternal perspective of life all that will matter is the time I have spent with my family and the relationships that I have created. So why do I have such a hard time having an attitude of gratitude? Why do I feel that my success as a mother and person is based on the things that I provide for my children, and not the time I spend with them? I would like to believe that if I will make the sacrifice I will be blessed, but I find it so difficult to make that leap of faith. I have a hard time surrendering all the things of life that I have worked so hard for. Why? Because I don't want to see my husband or kids ever have to go without! So instead I sacrifice that which is far more important. How very bothersome!
Would I rather be home with my girls? Without a doubt! So why do I work you ask? Because we are selfish. I don't want to go back to the poor house! If I want to buy a pair of shoes, I love the liberty of knowing I can. I love the fact that Brynlee is the cutest girl at preschool, not to mention the best dressed. I love having a cute house, and not having to keep a checkbook. But at what sacrifice? Brynlee is 4.5, delayed, and full of special needs, yet how many times have we ever worked with her? Zero! No speech, no fine motor, no gross motor, nothing. It's sad that the most she gets is 8-10 hours a day of disney and sprout. She should learn something from that, right? All I can say is Thank You to amazing preschool teachers, because we all know it wasn't learned at home!
This is something that has been bothering me for quite some time, and I feel like it drags me into a constant state of depression. I have come to despise my job for the precious things it robs me of. But even more than that, it bothers me that I am not eagerly sacrificing the shackles which got me here in the first place. I will always have to work just to pay the basic bills. It's one of the perks of having an educator for a husband. Who really cares about the new trailor, truck, brand of clothes, etc? Me and only me! In the eternal perspective of life all that will matter is the time I have spent with my family and the relationships that I have created. So why do I have such a hard time having an attitude of gratitude? Why do I feel that my success as a mother and person is based on the things that I provide for my children, and not the time I spend with them? I would like to believe that if I will make the sacrifice I will be blessed, but I find it so difficult to make that leap of faith. I have a hard time surrendering all the things of life that I have worked so hard for. Why? Because I don't want to see my husband or kids ever have to go without! So instead I sacrifice that which is far more important. How very bothersome!
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